Friday, January 25, 2008

Romance is not dead ...

... I'm just not entirely sure where it's hanging out at!

But Spring is almost in the air, and I am an eternal, incorrigible optimist. So ...

This post is for Helen. Well, it's for anyone wishing to encourage a little romance into their lives, but it was Helen who inspired it (thank you, Helen!)

To start on a positive note ...

A Romantic Tale:

Very handsome, very lovely Prince falls in love with totally gorgeous Princess (she really is, inside and out!) moves to the other side of the world with her, and they have Little Prince and Little Princess (equally lovely and gorgeous.) Married for some years, they have a wonderful connection, they ooze love and affection, compassion, respect and everything nice for each other, they are romance personified, and my personal inspiration ...

Very lovely prince is my brother, totally gorgeous princess is my sister-in-law. (Their photo is in my romance corner!) So while I have been romantically-challenged, at least I have had people in my life who remind me that it is indeed possible to have a healthy, balanced and beautifully romantic relationship.

Take heart ...

Something to consider: Why might romance be missing from our lives?

Are we really ready for romance? Sometimes we need to work on healing some things from the past first. Using feng shui to clear away negative energy can help, but do anything else you need to clean your romantic slate

Are we meeting the right people? A feng shui tip here would be to hang pictures or photos of social groups, or to place a bowl of fruit/nuts/sweets by the front door to encourage friends into your life. Get out there and meet more single people, try new activities, join groups, extend your social network.

Are our expectations too high? Meet each new person in your life with an open mind. We all have 'must haves' and 'must nots' in mind, but when love arrives, they are all irrelevant! Don't rigidly stick to a list of ideals, be flexible, accept dates with people you might not consider to be your 'type' because you just never know ...

Or too low? But don't let important expectations slip, insist on being treated with respect and consideration. Demand honesty.

Are we stuck in a rut? Change your image, treat yourself to a new outfit or hairstyle. Visit a new place. Try new things ... step out of your comfort zone.

Are we stressed or generally feeling run down and negative? Pamper yourself, treat yourself. Often. You deserve it!

Some important points about romantic quests:

Never forget ... you are a goddess (or a god, of course) and you deserve to be treated as nothing less!

I made this up one day, when I was feeling really fed up and unwanted. I tried repreating it for a few days in front of a mirror, and it really works! Sometimes it makes me feel gorgeous, sometimes it just makes me laugh (either way I feel much better.)

Always keep your eyes and your heart open!

You never know what's just around the corner. If you bump into a Mr or Mrs Right, you are likely to walk straight past them unless you are open to life's possibilities. We miss out on lots of lovely things when we spend too much time looking down. Or inwards.

Have Fun!

Try out the things below. Laugh at life. At love. At yourself. Flirt, with everyone!

Your Romance Corner

First things first ... you want to enhance the positive, rather than magnify the negative, so you must first clean and clear the space. It's a good idea to do the whole room. This encourages a good flow of healthy, positive chi energy.

Remove photographs or any other memories of past relationships (even if they were happy), if you are single and looking for romance. Obviously this doesn't apply if you are in a relationship, when a loving photo of you both would be an excellent idea, but take everything away first.

(More feng shui tips if you are hoping to rekindle romance: Remove any solitary figures from your romance corner and your bedroom. Add symbols of passion, use purple flowers and candles, place a crystal in your window, spilling light and energy into the room.)

Tidy ruthlessly. Put everything in a box, you can always put it back later, or find another home for it. Fix anything that needs fixing (a cupboard door perhaps, or peeling wallpaper) and clean thoroughly. You might like to add a favourite aromatherapy oil to some soapy water. Use neutral colours and efficient but gentle lighting.

Next, you should clear the area of any negative energy. Traditionally, smudge sticks are used for this. But you could burn some incense, or a candle. Tibetan bowl or bells are also good. If you're into meditating, this is a good time for it, supporting the "letting go" process.

And NOW you can start to add a romantic touch to your romance corner and boost the positive energy ... yay! Don't forget to have fun. Use your imagination, it's ok to take the general idea and run with it.

Compass point: Southwest

I have to admit to being a little confused about the whole direction thing. I have unfortunately inherited my Mum's directional genes. Much to my poor Dad's bemusement (he was a navigator in the RAF), we have difficulties sometimes finding our way back to a restaurant table after a visit to the Ladies. And if we're out without Dad, we often lose the car we parked 'somewhere ...'

Feng shui is a very complex thing, involving lots of numbers, and dates as well as directions. Even if I understood it, it would probably take a year of daily posts on here to explain. The simple way to find your romance corner is to stand at the door to your house or an individual room and then your romance corner is in the far right.

Even this confuses me a little, as my romance corner in the front room (I have one in my bedroom too!) is not in the same place as my romance sector if I look at the house as a whole. I don't worry too much though, I think a lot of the power of feng shui, of life in general, lies in intention.

Differences are due to buildings not having been built to feng shui principles in the first place. Ideally we should build our own house so that it all worked out (romance corners in each room would correspond to the romance sector of the house, which would be in the Sothwest). This is all taken into consideration when building homes in countries where feng shui is a natural part of life.

Element: Earth

Add some clay, brick, terracotta, cement, stone, any sort of earthenware, in the form of bowls, paperweights, doorstops or statues. Try making an arrangement of candles on a slab of beautiful slate. Hang clay windchimes. Arrange some beautiful crsytals.

Earth is also linked to square shapes and the colours yellow, orange and brown (although brown might also represent Wood, which harms Earth, so it might be best to avoid too much.)

Colour: Pink

Pink is widely associated with love and romance, being such a warm, nurturing and uplifting colour.

Other colours you might like to try are: reds (yang to balance yin, also red symbolises Fire, which supports Earth), yellow and orange (Earth colours), and maybe a little passionate purple.

Avoid greys and blues, which would symbolise Metal, as this weakens Earth.

Yin/Yang Balance: Yin

Add some yang energy. Adding statues or ornamental stones will help here too (yang solidity to balance yin emptiness).

Yang is also about light and movement, so try floaty material for curtains or bed hangings, or hang windchimes (avoid Wood which is very yin.)

Yang is also heat, and fieryness, so use candles. Perhaps this is why open fires are considered so romantic?

Chinese name: Kun

Symbol: Chinese Trigram

That's all you need to know really, although there are some miscellaneous points:

Obviously, a bedroom is an ideal place for a romance corner. Make your bedroom a special place, warm and sensual, and pleasant to be in. Indulge all your senses.

Screen off your office/study if you need to have it in your bedroom. Avoid any electrical equipment, or put it in cupboards and close the doors when possible.

To disperse negative energy from poison arrows, use crystals (more about this in another post, or this will be even longer than the last one!), plants, material drapes or screens, or my own favourite ... fairy lights.

Feng shui has been called the 'Art of Placing Objects' and there are lots of things you can place in your romance corner.

Some random ideas:

Energise your romance corner by lighting a pair of red candles. Anything in pairs (flowers, crystals, candles) will send the right energetic messages.

Add two rose quartz stones (I always think of this lovely gem as 'the cuddle quartz') perhaps carved into hearts.

Add lots of hearts, in any form you like, especially of there are natural: stones, shells, or leaves
for example.

Photos of loving couples are great, as are statues (think pairs or a single romantic sculpture, something like Rodin's Kiss!)

Doves or swans represent love and romance, so statues or pictures of these are good too.

Use traditional symbols: cupid, the chinese love knot, a welsh love spoon ...

Use rose, as a flower, or picture, or a scent. It's good to make this an exercise that uses all your senses. (More about aromatherapy for romance in the other post, I think.)

Experiment with red and pink lighting.

Hang a picture of a love goddess for inspiration. I'll write more about these another time, but you can choose from Aphrodite, Venus, Isis, Yemaya, Freya, Hera ...

Love poems. Frame your favourite or write your own.

Fish! Fish bring energy to any area. Keep the tank clean and well-maintained.

(Oh! a further point to add to the last post: money is represented by the element Water, so we should fix any leaky taps, as they suggest money draining away, and put the toilet seat down when it's flushing!)

Flowers (the flower itself, or a picture, or the aromatherapy oil where applicable):


Well, another monster post, but I still want to tell you about crystals and aromatherapy for romance, and I've found some lovely love spells and rituals which are fun, so I'll put it all in another post.

But for now ...

I wish you all much love and laughter.

If a romantic partner is not present in your life at the moment, harness your romantic energy and direct it somewhere else. Lavish loving feelings on friends and family: leave 'love notes' for the kids, send cards to friends telling them how special they are, write someone a love poem or romantic story. Or write a poem for yourself. Direct it into your creative activities. Write it down in a journal. Make Passion Pebbles! (More about this in another post too!)

I read somewhere recently that single parents are less likely to be affectionate with their children because their own needs for human affection and love are not being met. Sometimes we withdraw from affection, it's easy to do. I'm a very tactile person, but sometimes I feel all hugged out!

So, I know you've heard it all before ('love yourself first' kind of thing) but I know from experience that it's good to be reminded now and then.

Be gentle with yourselves!

(And don't forget to include a wish for romance on your new moon wishlist!)

Just to prove I do take my own advice (occasionally!), here's a silly little poem I wrote along a sort of romance theme:

I don't know how tall you are
But I know you have a big heart
And I know the feeling of your arms encircling me
I don't know the colour of your eyes
But I know they are deep and souful
And crinkle at the edges when you smile
I don't know your name
But I know I will recognise your spirit
I know not when or where I will find you ...
But I know you are the man of my dreams!

And here is a fab quote from my wonderful friend, Izzie:

"I still believe there's a perfect man out there for you. he's just not good with directions so he may be having trouble finding your house!"


Annieye said...

Wow. So interesting.

Something that touched me last weekend was when my son-in-law bought me a bunch of roses. I asked him what it was for. He said it was to say thank you for a lovely night on Friday.

I said, "but I only babysat"

He said "yes, but if you hadn't,
we wouldn't have had such a great night out because neither of us feel comfortable going out and leaving Tyler with anyone but you".

I thought Emily had put him up to it but she says not. He did it off his own back.

I think that is very romantic. How nice for Emily to know that her husband appreciated the opportunity to spend a romantic night with her so much that he bought his mother-in-law flowers!!

Maddie Moon said...

'Never forget you are a goddess,' Good advice! I saw Janet Street Porter on Loose Women this week advocating the same thing. After all, if we don't tell ourselves this, who else will?

HelenMH said...

Thank you so much for this. I will try out some of the ideas for my romance corner. I'm sort of hoping this year might turn out to be a good one for romance xxx

Moondreamer said...

Annieye, how lovely (how lucky Emily and you are!) Thank you for sharing that!


Maddie, it's ages since I caught up with the fab Loose Women! Often interesting ... thank you for reminding me, am going to make sure I watch it this week!

" ... if we don't tell ourselves this, who else will?" You are so right!


Helen, you are so welcome, honey!

I hope it helps, and I hope your special person will stop and ask for a map soon!


HelenMH said...

Thanks - I think I may have to draw a map and give it to him!

Moondreamer said...

Haha! Excellent idea, Helen! You could draw (or even write) a beautiful map to your heart and frame it for your romance corner!

When I'm feeling fed up about not being in a relationship, I tell myself often (often out loud!) that the universe has other wonderful things in mind for me at the moment ...